Once a year mountain bikers from all over the state visit our very home for 6hrs. of dirt underneath their tread. Some of the fastest dudes on two wheels grace us with their very presence...dude...I mean fellers and ladies that are Millenium Falcon speed. This race has been now been going on for over a decade thanks to the Nick Smith. The Tall Oaks is like Oktoberfest beer...it comes out once a year and you just can't get enough of it.
The start
This year we were blessed with perfect weather and fast singletrack. There was just enough chill in the air to make my nipples bleed. Yes...bloody nipples. So much for white jerseys. As Casey F. Ryback of Team Seagal fame told me after the race, my only hope now is to continue to get more bloody nipples so my jersey looks like I earned the "King of the Mountain" red polka-dotted jersey.
The rolling start was fast and so was the crew. Being the moron I am, I decided to go solo for 6 hrs. Now, don't get me wrong, I love long endurance events (get your mind out of the gutter), but every time you finish a lap and you hear music, smell food, and see all your friends getting tipsy on the sweet nectar made of barley and hops, it's hard to keep going. Luckily I wasn't the only Red Wheeler out there flying solo...Stoney and Peat had the same dumb idea.
Here, here to 6hrs of a chafed butt.
After my 4th or 5th lap I was warned by our very own Corey Case that the secret word was pineapple. Pineapple??? I do like the taste, but why this word? It didn't take long to realize that if I hear "pineapple" being shouted on the singletrack, someone was either getting violently beated by some masocist and they were yelling their safe word, or Corey and Turbo we flying by me.
Peat and the Dazzle
Not much could go wrong this very day. Especially if you like dusty boogers. The only thing that could of gone better is if there were time outs for brushing your teeth. Nothing like bikes blazing so fast a dust storm was being kicked up around Binder Lake.
6hrs of taint numbing force finally ended. The cracks of cans and bottle tops rang througout the finish line while we all enjoyed a much deserved refreshment. It's always great how after this race we get to hang out with some of our favorite mountain biking buddies out side of TRW. It's not everyday we get party with such like minded people. Especially when we have dried dusty snot on our faces.
TRW finished strong. Corey and Turbo finished 2nd in a VERY fast two-person division...nice work fellas! Peat got nine laps in which is very impressive. Stoney, Tank, and myself got in 8.
Our very own fast dudes.
As always, a big thanks to our very own Nick Smith. We couldn't put on this event if it wasn't for his efforts...and of course we can't forget his wife Jessica and pretty much the rest of his family. They volunteer their time every year to make this happen. Les and Celeste...thanks for making Binder what it is. We're pretty damn lucky to have a place like Binder in our back yard. One more big shout out to Jay Thomas, our Specialized Rep. He had the perfect pit set up for us...that's why Specialized rocks in our book.
Till next time our friends!
I agree it was an excellent race. Regarding your chafed nips, why didn't you just take the jersey off Bob Jenkins style? It's not like there weren't any USA cycling officials around.
So is anyone planning to do the CoMO Awesome race on Saturday or Rhetts run on Sunday?
Posted by: Stoney | Sep 25, 2012 at 07:13 PM
Honestly Stoney, I thought about taking the jersey off. I didn't know they bled through the jersey 'til after the race. Now I'm nursing scab ass. I think Chamois Butter is a hoax. Every time I use it I get awful saddle sores. Unfortunately I can't make Saturday...don't know about Sunday yet.
Posted by: Red Nipple Stains | Sep 25, 2012 at 07:22 PM
Put the chamois butter on your nipples. Use the euro style. I hear that's how they do it over there.
I can't make saturday or sunday. Good luck to those going.
Posted by: Peat | Sep 25, 2012 at 07:40 PM
Nice write up Matt! Sorry about the nips... Great work to evreyone! I think I will hit up Retts run but I doubt I go to CoMo Saturday.
Posted by: Corey | Sep 26, 2012 at 11:12 AM