Specialized BicyclesA nuclear blast..... debilitating abdominal dieases.... a Kid Rock concert.... My mom's rice-crispy cookies... these are the things that will keep me from riding my bike.
Rain is not on the list.
All the same, we decided it would be prudent to call upon the weather-controlling powers of the Great Nick Smith. Here we see Nick pleading with God to please keep the trails dry so we could ride our bikes. What a guy.
It was a humid 5th of July morning as JJ McQuade, his woman, the Dragon and myself stumbled through a pile of empty Natural Light cans to embark on what would be The Laker Girl's first ride through the plush and beautiful trails of Middle Fork.
And what better way could four patriotic Americans celebrate their country's Independence? We had spent the night before counting mullets at the town picnic, blowing shit up and guzzling cheap beer while fireworks danced across a cloudless sky. We would spend this day hammering out 29 miles of sexy Southern Missouri singletrack.
The weatherman called for rain; The weatherman was a dumbass. The temp was in the mid 70's and overcast. The trails were dry and perfect as we cruised leisurely along the CB trail on our way to Middle Fork, and spirits were running high.
This was the Dragon's maiden voyage in these woods and he had come equipped, sporting a new Camelbak and riding the most badass Purple and Yellow 1991 Specialized Singlespeed Rigid Rockhopper these woods had ever seen. This would easily be his longest ride yet on the "Laker Girl" and he was ready to thrown down. At the bottom of the day's first long downhill he was reportedly seen wiping tears of happiness from his melted face while doing a horrible job hiding a boner. Clearly a new world of cycling had just been opened before his very eyes. I remember my first time...(sighs)
Here we see the Dragon blasting through the woods at a far greater speed than my camera could keep up with. Yes, the force is strong with that one.
We stopped at the MF trailhead to get a shot of Luke's broken Cherry.
I guess Corey finally talked too much shit about his fancy tubeless tires never going flat
Here we are laughing at the weatherman....what a dip-ass
A downed tree made for some serious fun. Four attempts and we had it figured out.
Of course I'm never satisified with any ride or race unless I crush my manhood at least once...
And so 29-ish miles of awesomeness came and went. After a long hard day creating what the Dragon referred to as a "caloric deficit" it was time for caloric replenishment. Mexican anyone?
***waiter mumbles something in broken engish***
Dragon~"I want the biggest fucking thing on the menu, and I want it now or I'm gonna kill every one of you bastards."
Five minutes later there were 2 gynormous plates of Dos Primos lying in front of him.Does this look like the face of someone who wishes they would have stayed home?
Don't forget, the dudes over at Team Seagal are doing this same ride like next weekend, I think. Details are sure to follow. Be there or be a weatherman.
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